Conversation with a chocolate bunny:
First, why are you still here? Easter was…wait, checking the calendar…over four months ago. Big eyed and all shiny in your pink foil wrapper, you aim to entice. How many times has someone reached into the pantry for olives or oil, collard greens or BBQ beans, brushing you with a hand, but not grabbing you instead?
You don’t belong; surely, you know this, right?
Why, you could still be crouched there on that metal shelf come next Easter, for all we know. Let’s see, when is that? It’s in April, no March 31st next year. That’s so far away. By then you’ll be ruined, white or gray with sugar or fat bloom*, from those substances breaking down and destroying your smooth chocolate sheen.
Hmmm, let’s see, maybe you already suffer from it. We’ll just take a peak…
…thank goodness, no signs of turning. Now, with your foil torn and that air exposure, yeah, that could become a problem for you. Better, make sure you’re okay.
Yup, still delicious. I guess you can stay. We’ll just fix your foil…good as new.
What’s that Bunny? No, of course you don’t need ears; you’re made out of chocolate, silly! Trust me, you’re better off if you don’t hear anyone coming.